Emotional & Intimate Hospice Wedding | Alice + Douglas
I don’t share the intimate details of every wedding on our blog, but our friends Alice & Douglas have a story worth sharing, and it affected and moved me so deeply as a photographer I feel compelled to share it. Alice & Douglas had planned to get married in August of this year, but when Alice’s mom’s health took a turn for the worst plans were changed, the wedding date was moved, and a small ceremony was arranged at the top of a mountain in North Vancouver for just their immediate family. As the date neared however, it became more and more apparent that Alice’s mother wouldn’t make it to the ceremony on the mountain either, and so a small second ceremony was arranged for her hospice room so that she too could be present to witness her daughter vow her life to her soul mate.
As beautiful as this wedding was it was very difficult to hold our emotions in check as we shot. We managed the day without too much trouble, from the mountain top to the Flying Pig for a short luncheon, we were very conscious to tread lightly, and not to stir up too much emotion. Just as we were pulling up to the hospice our day quickly became almost unbearably difficult to shoot, when we got a call that Brad’s grandmother (who we were going to go visit after the wedding) had passed unexpectedly. Brad departed to be with his family, and I stayed on to record just the family ceremony at the hospice, but I couldn’t help but give into my tears when the second ceremony began. Out the of the corner of my eye I could see that my shirt was soaked from tears. Hiding my puffy face behind my camera, faced with the reality of how short life really is, my own mortality and how it would feel to lay there in that hospice and watch my own beautiful daughter Tia get married I had no choice but to hold my breath to keep from crying out loud. In that moment, life just felt so unfairly short. When the wedding was over, I gathered my things and departed. The minute I got through the doors of the hospice I fell to my knees, overwhelmed by everything I had held in all day, and bawled like a child with all of my gear scattered around me.
Shortly after the wedding Alice’s mother passed.
What stays with me most however is almost an hour after the wedding I was still waiting on the side walk down the street for a ride to come and collect me since Brad had departed to be with his family. Alice and Douglas noticed me there with heavy eyes and came over to hug and comfort me. Not that they needed to. And at first I felt sick, wanting to say I was fine, not wanting to darken their wedding day in any sort of way, shape or form. That’s just the kind of people they are though. Selfless and bursting with love and compassion. And isn’t that how we should all treat each other? Afterall, there isn’t life anywhere else in our solar system as far as we know. When tragedy strikes, all we have is each other.
With a little space between this day and our emotions around it I actually reflect on it with great fondness. Most of us live our day to day lives so caught up in our own superficial surface bullshit that we are completely oblivious to what really matters. I am so full of gratitude to have a creative career, which constantly reminds me of the value of friendship, and the value of family. It never seems to fail to remind me that life is short, and love is precious.
Love is so fucking precious.
It’s the only real adventure, the only real reason for being here. I swear to God every time I pick up my camera I discover a new way to love.
Thank you Alice & Douglas for sharing such a beautiful and moving day with us, and allowing us to share that story with others. Thank you for letting us into such a sacred space. Thank you for your friendship, your story, your comfort, and for the reminder of what really matters in life. Thank you for inspiring us and those around you with your unending love and compassion for each other and your families. We love you both so much.
